Summer of Pubs V - Mission Impossible

THE IMPOSSIBLE MISSION: GEOWOODSTOCK 14ER
A mega event, a geocaching event that has over 500 registered to attend.  In the case of this event- the 14th of its kind and the first in Colorado- there were substantially more than 500 (more like 2000-3000 from all over the world).

THE DATE: JULY 3RD, 2016
A mere hours drive from Colorado Springs, where I would be staying until the 6th. Morland, my host, happily accompanied me on the assurance that we would not do any heavy hiking. Does 4+ miles of walking count?

THE GOAL: TO ATTEND A MEGA AND GO TO PUBS
Turns out the mega included a set of Lab Caches that required us to attend seven different brewpubs in Denver. SCORE!

THE PARTICIPANTS: 
Morland, myself and, as it turns out, GoArmyMo (aka Jim, beer

Kevin (aka Nirik, aka Bob, aka Satan)

guzzler extraordinaire) and Whackadew (aka Heidi), my geo friends from El Paso, the latter of whom was VERY pregnant with twins. This would be interesting. Cameo appearances by my grand nieces (see below) and a late arrival by Kevin (@nirik99), a friend of some 30 years, former roommate, and all around great guy who also happens to be fabulous at throwing himself in front of the beers. This would come in very handy the following week, when we sampled MANY pubs in the north Denver suburbs and outer environs. More on that later...

THE EVENT:
GeoWoodstock was a mess, a big beautiful mess, taking place in an admittedly beautiful state park called Chatfield Lake, southwest of Littleton. Organization was willy nilly, parking was ridiculously convoluted & complex and the lines to get badges and "intro packets" made absolutely no sense, lacking even basic concepts like signs to say where to go. Rampaging hordes of cachers stood in endless lines to sign logs at park geocaches and coordinates on handouts that supposedly led to lab caches at the park sent us to the completely wrong places.

Me Signing the "Log sheet"

We did eventually find the lab caches in the park as well as find out the rest were in downtown Denver at brewpubs. I found a few pathtags, traded another, saw the original can of beans, and had a few very quick hellos with fellow caches I knew. After taking in the carnage for a mercifully short time and having the foresight to leave Guinevere along the narrow road leading into the park instead of traversing the chaos of the unguided field parking for the event (think Renaissance Faire only less coherent), we signed the enormous GeoWoodstock sign as proof we were there and bumped into Jim & Heidi near another long line of cachers signing a Letterbox. 



We all agreed that the place was hot, crowded and chaotic whereas brewpubs would have caches, air-conditioning and beer. So we caravanned into downtown Denver, ready to enjoy the froth and avoid the crowds. Imagine that: going to downtown Denver to AVOID crowds. Let that sink in for minute. It turns out, we were 100% right.

There were NO games, NO special events, and surprisingly very few crowds in Denver on this day, perhaps because people were out of town for the Independence Day weekend, perhaps because the stars aligned properly... whatever the reason, it was great to escape the crowded and enjoy some proper suds.

THE PUBS:

Jim mopping up the remains of flights

So we picked our locations based entirely on whether they had made arrangements with the GeoWoodstock organizers to set up codes for the Lab Caches. That worked something like this: since lab caches were only up for about ten days- a few before and after surrounding the day of the event- we had to go to a special website to input a special coded word at each location. When we did, the logged find would appear automatically on our geocaching profiles and we could move on to the next location. Of course, since they were nice enough to offer there space for the event, we patronized each of the establishments as well, to mixed results. Thank god for Jim, who threw himself in front of even the worst beers on the journey. More on those later.

PUB #1: Denver Beer Company. Sitting right off of I-25, this pub is yet another example of brewery that defies my expectations, in that my favorite beers here are usually varieties I find uninteresting. For example, their beer called El Guapo is a pilsner but no ordinary one. It's actually aged in tequila barrels and as such resonates with pepper and other spice just like a good Añejo. Their porter, one infused with graham cracker spices, is biscuity, sweet, smokey and delicious. Other beers I normally like? Not so much. Their Raspberry Kolsch, for example, displays almost no fruit taste, much needed for the slightly boring Kolsch style.

Pub #2: Prost Brewing Company. I had little hope for this brewery, which rests on just the other side of the interstate of Denver BC. They specialize in German style beers, which Americans usually make very badly, turning them into tasteless pap like Budweiser. Wrong again! These guys actually know how to do beer in the European style. Of course, they fall back on some standard tropes with some of their lighter beer to cater to the bland American palate but their Helles shines on the lighter end of the spectrum, displaying a sweet and summery palate that also resonates with the traditional banana and biscuit flavors so archetypical of this style. On the darker end of things, their Weizenbock and Dunkel are both fabulous, boozy, slightly sweet, and exactly the perfect accompaniment for sausage, kraut and other traditional German fare. It is also here that Kevin joined us for the rest of our drinking endeavors, which would help to stem the inevitable tide of Jim's drunkenness. 

Pub #3: Diebolt Brewing Company. Easily my favorite brewery up to this point, this place had at least two incredible saisons and one of the better pale ales I've had. The pale, called Mariposa, reminded me of one of my favorites, Dale's from Oskar Blues, but with a bit less malt and a slightly lemony finish. The two saisons were called Perk and French "Pale Ale", the latter being a complete misnomer as it was anything but a pale ale. The Perk, so named because of its infusion with coffee, tasted a bit of Turkish coffee with a slight hint of cardamon. But the French will go down in my lexicon as an all time favorite beer, a spicy saison with prominent cinnamon, mint and pepper notes. Imagine my surprise when the brewmasters told me that they actually added tarragon to the fermentation and that no cinnamon was present at all. My taste buds were fooled, that's for sure. If they ever bottle this wonder, I'll buy a case.

Pub #4: A pause for lunch was followed by a journey into deep downtown, where we stood before the Gates to Hell, otherwise known as Jagged Mountain Brewing Company. After escaping from it, I was left with the distinct impression that brewers here are obsessed with the "more is more" philosophy of beer making. Apart from a very nice barrel aged oatmeal stout called Splitboard- which at 7% ABV actually resembles a drinkable beer and which resonates with subtle sweetness- everything here is an undrinkable, highly alcoholic mess. The Ubermountain Barleywine, for example, tastes of nothing but alcohol. No subtly at all. The story continues with the Devil's Abyss Russian Imperial Stout, a variety I usually like but which in this beer results in nothing but an alcoholic fizz (ABV 17.5%!!!) that drowns out any other light from the hellish pit from whence it was spawned. Their "special" 2nd Anniversary Belgian Quad is no better, which at 10.2% ABV tastes like nothing but rotten barley. But the absolute worst of all was their ridiculous Black Lupulin, a supposedly 350 IBU, 12% ABV (WTF?!?) black IPA that tastes like you're sucking a moldy hop straight from a black bear's ass. And that's the problem here; these beers have no subtly, no grace, and no sense of style at all. Honestly, the beer here made me MAD so I was more than happy to leave and never come back. Thankfully, the next place we went more than made up for it.

Pub #5: After the last debacle, we all agreed that the next brewery would be out last for the day; besides we had already gathered the rest of the lab caches available today, include two not discussed here on a mediocre distillery most distinguished by the presence of homeless people lingering outside and a brewery that was having a private event that day. So last up was Mockery Brewery, which in sharp contrast to Jagged Mountain, didn't try to up the alcohol to absurd levels, instead concentrating on producing many honest pints worthy of a fine craft brewer. In fact, there wasn't a single beer here that I found bad and many that I found exceptional. First up with the Lemon Zest Pilsner, a delightfully refreshing summer beer that was even better than their already excellent standard pilsner. Next up was their Oaked Hefeweizen, with the oak given this wheat beer some vanilla and woody high notes. Hopheads would also find themselves at home here with their fantastic Session Red IPA, which is citrusy, easy drinking, and mercifully low in alcohol (ABV 5%). Even more distinct was their spin on a rather uninteresting varietal in my mind, the Scotch Ale, which here they infuse with salt, giving it a salted caramel character unlike anything else I've ever had. And once again, they kept the alcohol at a reasonable 5.2%. And finally, the most remarkable beer here is the Ultimate Session, a 4.95% ABV, barrel aged Old Ale which has flavors like oak, vanilla, and bourbon that are usually reserved for much more alcoholic beers.

In all, we had a marvelous time and we drove our separate ways after leaving Mockery, Jim thankfully not driving as he was my surrogate drinker of the many beers we had today (I only tasted each one, remember?). Satisfied that we had done Denver proud, we parted company. But Kevin would return to my story again on July 7th, when he would accompany throughout Westminster, Broomfield, Boulder, Longmont, Brighton and other places over the next few days. 

The story of that journey will appear in the next entry here. Stay tuned!

Me and the grand nieces, mugging for the camera before I left Colorado Springs